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EMDR, PTSD, & School Shootings... What you need to know and how to process with your kids

EMDR, PTSD, & School Shootings... What you need to know and how to process with your kids

As we approach school starting back up, our fears and anxieties about school shootings may be escalating due to the events last spring. As I look at Santa Fe High School, and yet another school shooting, I can't help but be taken aback to April 20, 1999, the day of the Columbine massacre. I was a first responder in the area schools. I worked at a district school-based health center with a caseload of 9 elementary schools. All the area schools surrounding Columbine went into

Everything Changes

Everything Changes

Once upon a time there was a preacher boy in seminary who fell in love and married his sweetheart. Shortly after graduation from seminary, he and his wife had their first child, he was assigned to his first church and he was inspired to preach a sermon on parenting. He reflected on his sweet bride, lovely child and went to his study. The following Sunday, he delivered his first sermon on parenting entitled, “The 10 Commandments of Parenting.” Five years later, this same preac

Campus Tours

Campus Tours

Road signs, banners, and energetic coeds shouting “You’re with us!” directed our steps and welcomed our daughter as she first set foot onto her college campus. The next few days were all about game-day traditions, activity fairs, and introductions. Student leaders and organized events helped our daughter transition into an exciting new phase of life she knew nothing about, because no matter how much she had anticipated and planned, she had never lived it. But what about us

How time flies…

How time flies…

My friends, my oldest child got her learner’s license today. They gave my tiny baby girl a license to drive. I cannot believe this! As she was sitting there filling out her paperwork and signing her temporary permit, all I could think was “What are you people thinking?!? You are giving a baby a license to drive heavy machinery!” I know, I know. These are rites of passage. Moments when we are hit in the face with the reality that our children are growing. They are sprin

Building Emotional Strength in Our Kids {part 4}

You will have to forgive me for my month long hiatus. For the past 36 days we have had grandkids at our house. I must tell you a quick story here. While falling off to sleep one evening, I said to my 3 year old grandson, “Knox, you are my best friend (this was a phrase he had learned and was using liberally). He replied by saying, “Pappabo, you are my best friend too, and so is toad (a frog he had captured that day in the yard)”. For a fleeting moment I was feeling very sp

Building Emotional Strength in Our Kids {part 3}

Over the past 2 weeks I have been covering the values that we, as parents, can instill in our children to build emotional strength and security in their lives. The first value I talked about was gratefulness and the second value was responsibility. If you have not had a chance to read these, be sure to catch up. The next value I hope is engraved deeply in my kids is self-control. This is the capacity to set aside the immediate gratification of personal desires for the sake of

Building Emotional Strength in Our Kids {part 2}

Last week I began a discussion about building emotional strength in our children through character development. I discussed the quality of gratefulness and how to create a grateful heart in your child. If you didn’t have a chance to read it, be sure to check it out. The second value that is important to emotional strength is responsibility. At birth, the dependency factor for a human being is 100% and the responsibility factor starts out at zero. As a parent, my goal every ye

Building Emotional Strength in Our Kids

All of us, as parents, want our kids to be strong. Physical strength is a value that has been raised to a virtue. What I observe often is a lack of emotional strength in families. It’s as if we didn’t see the need for that kind of strength but it is surely necessary for healthy development for children and adolescents as well as maturing adults. We will look at emotional strength in the next few blogs. One of the things born in the late 1950’s and early 60’s was the disci

Back Planning

Mentors are a great asset to have in your life. I’ve had a few different mentors for different things in my life over the years. There have been counseling mentors, teaching mentors, spiritual formation mentors, organizational mentors, hunting mentors, husbanding mentors, and parenting mentors. They all have been used by God to help shape the plans and strategies my wife and I have utilized in these areas of our lives. The parenting mentors we’ve had were most helpful. Th

Relational Needs are Part of the Plan

People are needy. I hear that a lot. I say it a lot. Almost always when someone says that, they are not speaking in a complimentary manner about someone else. To be viewed by others as needy is usually something we try to avoid or at least manage our image around in some form or fashion. Several years ago I was giving a presentation to a group of small group leaders on ways to care for folks in their small group. My presentation began in the book of Genesis where I explai

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